Friday, 12 April 2013

How to increase your paid holiday from 4 to 5 weeks

Jason decided to open the door and join the photo shoot
as this is the first time the hot cousins have decided to visit in 6 years

Unfortunately there is a caveat to the promise of this article. Your 5th week of holiday will have to be spent sitting on the toilet, taking a dump.

Someone once told me "I always take a dump at work, because I'd like to think that I am getting paid for taking a dump"

I hate public toilets with a passion so unfortunately this strategy won't cut it for me but it got me wondering about the real monetary cost (for the business) of a person taking a dump at work.

Lets assume you don't take any holidays and work the full 52 weeks at a normal 9 to 5, Mon-Fri job. You know, cause you just sooo enjoy what you do and would love nothing but to work the full 52 weeks.

5 working days a week X 52 weeks = 260 days worked per year.

And lets assume you eat a lot of fibre and keep up with your water intake so your average dump-taking time is around 10 minutes a day. 

This is (relatively) good news for people who suffer from Crohn's, Ulcerative Colitis or IBS as time spent on the toilet can be infinitely more, hence increasing the "time paid to dump". Perhaps one consolation from the myriad of things you have to suffer through, like that person who was on Xenical but still went out and ate Maccas. Enjoy shitting your pants I say.

260 days X 10 minutes = 2600 minutes paid for taking a dump

2600minutes / 60 minutes = 43.3 hours paid for taking a dump.

Jesus christ, you just got paid a full working week, by doing nothing more than adjusting your bowel motions.

No comments:

Post a Comment