I am a Homeopath

The most amusing interactions in pharmacies are ironic ones:

Customer: Hi! Can I get some Phenergan 25mg tablets please

Me: Sure, it's a pharmacist-only medicine so I'll just need to ask you a few questions.

Customer: You don't need to do that, I am a homeopath*

Me: Oh that's excellent! Let me just go dilute that for you so it conforms with your pseudo-scientific hocus pocus.

Disclaimer: Not all of the above interaction took place, but that goes without saying.


*Homeopaths believe that by diluting a substance to the point of it being just water, it will enhance the substance's effect. For example, a standard 30C homeopathic dilution is tantamount to putting 1ml (around 12 drops) of active substance in a sphere of water that has a diameter of about 131.1 light years in length.

Soliloquy of a Pill Counter

You came in on a busy Friday afternoon to hand in a prescription for Cialis. The way you handed over the prescription to the nice shop girl is akin to you chucking ten cents to the local beggar on Courtenay Place.

The first words out of your mouth weren't "Hi, how are you?" or "Is it possible to fill this script?". It was "I expect to only pay $25* a tablet and that's what I am paying". And with that, you have established that you are very good at blowing smoke up your own behind.

You reminded me of the middle-aged white man that went into a Chinese restaurant (coincidentally also on Courtenay Place) to order a heavily marinated meat dish. Like those annoying people who order quarter strength soy milk decafe at your local barista, he proceeded with the belligerent "don't you dare add any MSG." When the clerk tried to tell him that the meat are all pre-marinated (hinting that he should perhaps order another dish), the subtlety flew pass him like a fat guy bypassing the fruit & vege section in the supermarket. So he said "did you get my order? Yes? Then why are you still talking?"

We took in your prescription, and finished it in ten minutes. Interestingly, you managed to substitute "Thank you, here's my money" with "What took so long?". It took every ounce of me not to say "I do apologise for our droopy performances, I am sure you can understand". But that double entendre would fly past you just like the fact that there were already two people waiting in the shop before you came in hence explaining the non-instant service that you were accustomed to.


After you left, the little boy in the shop asked his dad: "Why didn't the pharmacist say anything back to that asshole?"

Dad: "Because he can't, he's a professional"

Boy: "But he was so nice to him, why can't he just give that guy a taste of his own medicine?"

Dad: "Because he's the hero that the people deserves, but not the one they need right now. So he'll continue to be professional, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian of our pills. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight."

*Equivalent of $20USD

I never had any problems with my blood pressure

This guys comes in asking whether the meds he's taking is compatible with what he wants to take over the counter. I kid you not, this is the following exchange:

Me: "### might interfere with your blood pressure but given the fact......"

Him: "I never had any problems with my blood pressure. I am on Metoprolol and Cilazapril and had a stent in but I never had any problems with my blood pressure."

Me:

Medication Noncompliance

Doctors quoting medicine prices to patients?

This is what I want to do to myself when
Doctors quote medicine prices to patients
(Courtesy of Erik Johansson)

This is a sincere plea. Please do not quote non-funded medicine prices from MIMS drug reference to patients. It will be like me telling the patients (who ask me how much the Dr visits cost) that they will only need to pay $10 for a 45min consultation. I will put on my captain obvious hat and construct the directional flow of a drug below:
                         
                     Markup + GST                           Markup + GST                           Markup + GST
Manufacturer        ==>        Wholesaler       ==>          Retailer            ==>           Patients
(Pfizer, GSK etc.)                                                         (ME!)

                             (1)                                 (2)                                    (3)

If you quote from MIMS, you are quoting (1), which as you can see is no where near (3). Surprisingly, I come off as the douche-bag to the patients because I am perceived as the big pharma trying to rip them off (which I find really hard to do seeing as the Dr's quote is less than my cost price!)

So please, give the pharmacy down the road a quick call, hell, I'll even give you my personal number if you email me here.

FML

No date for Valentines? Hate life? Generally pessimistic? Think 2012 will be the end of the world?

Use some FML eye drops!!

"I Want Something Chemical-Free"

If I had a dollar every time I hear the above, I'd be typing this post over breakfast in a Munich cafe.

A women came in today and tried to obtain a refund on a tube of cream by claiming that it caused these not visible bumps on her forehead. Did I mention the tube is empty? She looked up these horrible looking chemicals on the back and *gasp* there are preservatives inside!! Because of that, she is dead convinced its "that preservative" that's caused these reactions - despite the fact that she's been using it "for ages" and the reaction only started 10 days ago.

"But it's the only thing I am using, the only thing!!!!" (Translation: I'm not using anything else that *I think* is causing this reaction) I later found out she also uses Elizabeth Arden make up.

Did it matter that I was patient and explained that without the preservatives she'd probably be slapping on multi-dipped serving of unsanitary goo on her head? Or the fact I tried to explain just because it has a chemical name doesn't mean it's bad? It was like playing a harp before a cow

Yes, it's horrible how these companies are "getting away" with putting nasty-sounding chemicals in facial products but last I checked, you didn't mouth off to god in your prayers for including isoamyl acetate or 2-heptyl acetate in the banana.

Don't get too excited, that was in no way an admission of validity for creationism on my part.